Topic: Binned my Balti

[Kashmiri Bob]

Managed to go to Shababs eventually.  Was planning a lengthy review of their balti and a head-to-head comparison with Mick’s Al Frash.  Not possible unfortunately.  Before going I looked at their reviews on Just-Eat.  After filtering out the arrived late/cold feedback, it still didn’t fill me with confidence.  One response from Shababs to a regular, but unhappy customer, clearly indicates that if their award-winning chef isn’t available, the other chefs can’t reproduce his results.  It’s OK.  Times are hard, staff shortages, etc., and getting a dodgy curry now-and-then is hardly a new thing.  I recall sub-standard offerings from both Adil’s and the Kushi.  Although the Shababs balti (takeaway) I got on Saturday was exceptionally dire. I don’t think this will be representative of their normal fayre.  I hope not anyway.  Guess a proper sit-down meal on a Friday or Saturday evening would be the safest bet.  That said, I can only review what I was given.  So, a quick review and a couple of photos.  My usual expert analysis, with no added sarcasm.

A Clean-Air Zone is now fully operational in Birmingham City centre, so I skirted around this.  If anyone is planning to drive into Birmingham do check first what’s involved for the CAZ.  From my home it took about 20 mins to get to Ladypool Road and another 20 mins to find a parking spot.  It was rammed, as usual, with much horn honking.  I found Shababs.  It was hiding behind extensive scaffolding to its frontage.  So there I was, outside the legendary Shababs Balti Restaurant. I took a deep breath and stepped inside.  It was quite a humbling experience.  Walking on the same hallowed steps as the big celebs of balti cuisine, Andy Munro, the Hairy Bikers and Misty Ricardo.



I was able to sit at one of the tables to consider my order.  I liked the decor inside.  They have kept the glass-top tables, with the full menu (enlarged) under the glass.  There were 3 other tables with diners.  Two women whose food was served on white porcelain.  Two lads who were just finishing their balti.  An elderly gentleman wearing a trilby and clutching a copy of the Guardian.  He had finished his balti.  He seemed a little odd.  Sat upright and completely still, no movement whatsoever, Not even blinking.  I wondered, is he dead?  A lady then came in to collect what looked like a large takeaway order.  I think she was a regular.  As she was leaving, one of the waiters asked her to wait, whilst he prepared a small plastic pot of those little aniseed balls and fennel seeds, used as a mouth freshener.  I thought, I hope I get some of those.

I indicated I was ready to order and the waiter beckoned me over to the bar/till area close to the entrance.  I went with 1 poppadom, Seekh Kebab and a Balti Chicken (medium).  Note, the Birmingham Balti (in this case a chicken one) is called Balti Chicken, not Chicken Balti.  The waiter didn’t write my order down.  They have a fancy PoS system, so all touchscreen.  That’s OK.  I have to move with the times.  It printed out my order and the waiter trotted off towards the kitchen door.  Whilst waiting the door opened several times, but there was nothing to see, just shelving.  No inferno to marvel at.  I looked harder to see if there were any blue flames licking around the kitchen ceiling, but not even a feeble flicker, or whiff of combustion.  Guess I waited about 20 mins for my order.  I got my plastic carrier bag and left.  No aniseed balls!  On the way out I noticed the elderly gentleman had gone.  I figured he must have been just stunned, momentarily, by the sublime quality of his balti.       

On returning to my car Google Maps suggested that I carry straight on, instead of going back up Ladypool Road.  Good idea.  Soon onto Moseley Road, the home of the Kushi, sadly long gone,  Into leafy Edgbaston next, not far from the floodlights of the cricket ground.  A few new road closures and diversions to negotiate, due to the forthcoming Commonwealth Games.  Something else to consider if planning a visit.  All of the temporary bollards on the roads for this are resplendent in Union Jack livery.  Nice to see.  Soon got back home.  Sorted out the plastic bag and took a couple of photos.

Balti Chicken



Well, my first impression was there is a quite generous amount of oil.  Nice!  To be fair, it’s impressive.  Taste test next and this is where things went downhill, fast.  I managed to eat 2 tsp on Saturday.  Absolutely disgusting.  Instantly identifiable.  I got mustard oil and loads of Kasuri Methi, the latter uncooked, at least it tasted that way.  The second tsp was no better, even though I tried to ignore the intense mustard oil, which was nigh on impossible.  There was depth alright, but all wrong.  I imagine if you scraped out the bottom of an industrial  deep fat fryer (where the oil hadn't been changed for years) it would taste something like this. Complex too, in an earthy, ditch-water-sludge sort of  way.  I let it cool down and popped it in the fridge, so I could have a think. Took ages for the nasty taste to go away. I could have done with some of those little aniseed balls. 

On Sunday I reheated it. Tried to force down a small portion.  It didn’t get near my shiny balti bowl.  I was concerned there may be something in it that could strip the coating off.  Slightly less disgusting this time, but still rank.  Not just rank, rank. It was rankus maximus.  So I gave up and binned it.  Soon after I thought I recognised that taste from somewhere, but where?  Mustard oil itself? No, but obviously a big part of it.  Mustard oil in cheap pickles and pastes?  Pastes!  Years ago I had a commercial sized jar of Patak’s Madras Kebab paste.  I recall dipping a spoon through a couple of inches of oil and tasting it, neat. This may not be far off, but if so, against the the rules.

Verdict 0/10.  A monumental fail.

Seekh Kebabs

I was expecting these to be poor too, but got a very welcome surprise.  First impression was that the kebabs do not appear to be under-cooked. 



Next, woeful non-existent presentation.  I know it’s only a takeaway starter dish, but come on chef.  Your menu has got No 1 restaurant in Birmingham written on it.  I’ve seen this bone-idle lazy approach many times before.  Where is the art?  Or anything.  Even a bed of fried onions would help and a slice of fresh lemon.  Seekh kebabs, in particular, need attention, or they invariably look like unpleasant things. Unforgivable.

I had one of the kebabs on Saturday.  Absolutely superb.  The best kebab I have ever come across.  Everything was there.  Spongyfication and delightful spicing, balanced perfectly with just the right amount of heat.  Cooked correctly with the right smokiness. The other kebab has gone in the freezer.  This kebab belongs on my menu along with one of Mick’s Al Frash specials.  It deserves its place.  And so it shall be.  Would have got the full 10, but for the presentation.

Verdict.  8/10.  Superb.

Rob   

[livo]

I misunderstood. I thought you were going to cook the dish (misty ricardo recipe). It looks like you would have been better off.

Wow, that curry is swimming in oil. So much for the claim by Zaf Hussain that much of the oil burns off in the flaming and any excess can be spooned off.  Interestingly mustard oil does not feature in the recipes or videos.  Maybe it's tired old reclaimed "spiced" oil from the bhaji fryer.

At least it wasn't a total loss with the kebabs being good.

[Peripatetic Phil]

Very very sad, BB.  Sincere commiserations.  I just hope my Eridanous Kalamaki pork and beef skewers are as good as your Shabab's kebab, when I finally get around to cooking them ...
--
** Phil.

[Bob-A-Job]

Wow, that curry is swimming in oil. So much for the claim by Zaf Hussain that much of the oil burns off in the flaming and any excess can be spooned off.  Interestingly mustard oil does not feature in the recipes or videos.  Maybe it's tired old reclaimed "spiced" oil from the bhaji fryer.

When I saw the picture, I thought it look OK, apart from the Oil (not a big fan of it, had too many takeaways that were half oil, some onion/tomato/pepper and a few bits of meat).

After a recent post I made about the cost of Oil, I think Livo may have nailed it.  A quick calc using commercial pricing of KTC Veg. Oil is about £2.20 per litre where as their Mustard Oil is £7.56 per litre... so I can't imagine they are using Mustard Oil as a substitute.  I had some oil that I kept in a separate container for use when deep frying Onion Bhaji, etc... but I remember once, it had been used a little too often or maybe left a little too long and when I went to use it the next time, the smell was so Rancid as it warmed I never used it!

I am sad that you had such a bad experience; your commentary was enthusiastic up until you tried it. 

BAJ

[Secret Santa]

...An elderly gentleman wearing a trilby and clutching a copy of the Guardian.  He had finished his balti.  He seemed a little odd.  Sat upright and completely still, no movement whatsoever, Not even blinking.

That was me Rob. I was trying to recover from how s***e my chicken balti that I'd ordered was. Never going to listen to recommendations ever again.   

[Peripatetic Phil]

...An elderly gentleman wearing a trilby and clutching a copy of the Guardian.  He had finished his balti.  He seemed a little odd.  Sat upright and completely still, no movement whatsoever, Not even blinking.

That was me Rob. I was trying to recover from how s***e my chicken balti that I'd ordered was. Never going to listen to recommendations ever again.   

I demand photographic evidence that not only do you own a trilby, you wear one in public.  That all the rest rings true goes without saying, but a trilby ?  Not in a million years ...

[Secret Santa]

I demand photographic evidence that not only do you own a trilby, you wear one in public...

Ok here's one of me selecting the meat for my balti

[Peripatetic Phil]

I fear that Mr Ricci will not be entirely pleased at this feeble attempt at identity theft, Santa — if I were you, I would advise my solicitor to engage the best QC that money can buy, because you can be certain that Mr Ricci will already have done the same ...

[George]

Managed to go to Shababs eventually. 

Excellent review, thanks. After reading your findings, I doubt if I will return there in October, after all.

[Kashmiri Bob]

...An elderly gentleman wearing a trilby and clutching a copy of the Guardian.  He had finished his balti.  He seemed a little odd.  Sat upright and completely still, no movement whatsoever, Not even blinking.

That was me Rob. I was trying to recover from how s***e my chicken balti that I'd ordered was. Never going to listen to recommendations ever again.   

Good you are OK Santa.  I was worried.  On the way home I thought to myself, didn't actually see him leave. What if the chap had expired after all, and slowly slipped down under the table, out of sight? But all is well with the forum and it's business as usual.

Rob