"Fried"'s anecdote reminds me of the apocryphal story of the carpet layers who were just tidying up when one of them noticed a small lump in the carpet. "WTF's that ?!" asked the guv'nor. The other felt guiltily in his pockets, failed to find what he hoped to find, and then said "Sorry, I think it must be my fag packet". "Right", said the guv'nor, "we'll soon fix that, then". And he took a mallet from his toolbag, gently applied it to the offending bulge a few times, and the bump disappeared. At that moment the lady owner came in, saw the new carpet, and expressed her grateful thanks to the workmen. "Incidentally", she said, "have you seen my budgerigar anywhere ? He always flies free in here, and I can't find him anywhere.".