Quote from: Garp on June 29, 2014, 11:41 AM

Quote from: Carp on June 29, 2014, 11:01 AM
Potted shrimps, roast beef, and spotted dick

I believe David Cameron likes to eat dick, spotted or otherwise ...  Or maybe he just likes to eat Nick...

You jest, Sir.  Have you seen the fragrant and mouthwatering Mrs Cameron ?  A man could eat that all day and all night, and never want to come up for air !

Quote from: Stephen Lindsay on June 29, 2014, 12:17 PMpolitics - show biz for bufoons

Politicians -- the very last people you would want or trust to run a country (Michael Heseltine and Sir Anthony Wedgewood-Benn excluded, of course).

** Phil.

Quote from: Gav Iscon on June 29, 2014, 12:29 PMAir Tulip: n A delightfully fragrant (moderated), as dropped by Lady Di or Grace Kelly, but not Jocky Wilson.  What goes on in my head I do not know.

The effect of too many curries, I fear.  A man who spends his entire life (moderated) sees others only as his fellow contenders in the obnoxious effluvia stakes ...

Quote from: Gav Iscon on June 29, 2014, 12:54 PMI've only ever been Top Trumped once and even that is open for debate but not I'm afraid in front of Samantha Cameron.

I should hope not too, Sir !  (Now proceeds to completely demolish original theme of thread by re-telling ancient and hackneyed joke).

"At a recent Dinner at the Mansion House, Her Gracious Majesty was unfortunately struck by a bout of uncontrollable wind, and passed an extremely loud and unpleasant (moderated) right in front of the Lord Mayor and assembled company.  Immediately, the British Ambassador to Burma, who was seated on her left, rose to his feet, and offered a most humble apology to the Lord Mayor and fellow guests before leaving the room.  A few minutes later, H.M. again broke wind, and this time the Chairman of the Baltic Exchange, who was seated on her right, immediately rose, apologised and left.  When this happened for the third time, both the British Ambassador to Korea /and/ the Chairman of Lloyds rose to apologise, but before either could speak, the American Ambassador was on his feet and in a voice that could be heard throughout the room said with complete sincerity "No, no, ma'am -- Have /this/ one on me !".

** P.