Jerry - others have said it, but I have to say it again.
Methi is key to the BIR taste, in the savoury curries at least - madras, vindaloo, bhuna, jalfrezi...
I inadvertently ran out once, and the Madras I made noticeably did not have the depth of flavour and the BIR smell was diminished.
Have you confirmed that the takeaways you frequent do NOT use it? I have a hard time with that one.
I don't bother with a fine grind, just a crumple in the fingers as I put it in the pan.
Have you done a side-by-side with and without methi?
I can understand if you simply have an "incompatibility" with methi, but in which case, you are striving for a different taste than most.
-- Josh