The Ballards in question are in Castle Douglas near to Garps neck of the woods in Dumfries. I'm in sunny Whitley Bay, that suave coastal retreat on the North East coast. We'll be having a late Burns Night with about 15 of us in a field in France complete with proper attire (bay city rollers suit) and the piping in of the haggis by me playing that well known bagpipe classic, 'There's a Cat Stuck in the Mangle' followed by copious amounts of whisky and imported real ale being consumed.