Thus spake the Curry God, and all were mortally afeared. "Who amongst us has taken the sacred name 'Madras' in vain ?", each asked of his neighbour, but none dared answer "I". Then, crawling out from beneath a rock, a little child emerged into the light of the day, blinking. "Hath anyone theen mine chicken Madras", he asked, innocence beaming from his tiny eyes. "It was the bestest I ever tasted", he went on, "and my mummy says that was because she lost the recipe and had to impro... impro... IMPROVISE". "What did she use", asked the Pharisee ? "Well, all the usual fings, of course, but she added some lemon juice, and some Worcestershire sauce, and some ...". "STOP" came a voice so loud and so fearsome that most fainted and some died. "WHO DARES TAKE THE NAME OF THE MADRAS IN VAIN". "My mummy", said the little boy, who was very deaf and therefore did not realise that the Curry God was angry. "And it was the bestest bestest bestest chicken Madras ever ". And the Curry God, seeing the innocence in the little child's eyed, was moved to compassion, and he asked the little child, in a quiet voice so as not to frighten him "May I try some of your mummy's chicken Madras ?". And the little boy went to fetch some, and the Curry God tried it, and the assembled company sat silently in awe, awaiting the damnation that would surely follow when the Curry God tasted the Forbidden Ingredients. But there was silence -- a very long silence -- and then the Curry God said in a Very Quiet Voice "May I have some more, please ?" and then, in a voice that could be heard across the whole of the land of Canaan "THAT WAS THE BEST CHICKEN MADRAS I EVER TASTED. HENCEFORTH, NO-ONE SHALL SPEAK OF A CHICKEN MADRAS UNLESS HE IS WILLING TO SWEAR BEFORE ME THAT IT CONTAINS LEMON JUICE AND WORCESTERSHIRE SAUCE, STAR ANISE AND SUGAR, AND ALL OF THOSE OTHER INGREDIENTS THAT THIS LITTLE CHILD'S MUMMY HAD THE SENSE TO TRY". And they went away marvelling at all they had seen and heard, and from that day on, throughout the land of Canaan, no-one ever again made a chicken Madras without using lemon juice, or Worcestershire sauce, or star anise, or sugar, or some other ingredient that, whilst not carved on the sacred Tablets of Stone, nonetheless contributed to the success and flavour of the final dish.